The Besh Moments In Life

This is not to say Besh was being manipulative, since this is the same toddler who said he only needed one toy from the Times Square Toys ‘R Us, but if he was trying to be then he couldn’t have done it better.

Step 1: Get an out-of-town grandparent into town.  That was accomplished this past weekend when Gamaw was in town.

Step 2: Arrange to go to Toys ‘R Us or some other toy store.  In this case, he had fallen in love with a Sit and Spin at a friend’s birthday party.  Incidentally, when does Sit and Spin go from cool children’s toy to obscene curse expression?  I’m guessing early teens.

Step 3: While walking into Step 2′s toy store with Step 1′s grandparent, have a little scene like this play out.

Besh (holding Gamaw’s hand on the way to the store): “Hey, Gamaw, I have to tell you something.”

Gamaw: “What’s that?”

“I love you, Gamaw.”

Then drop Gamaw’s hand and run into the store.

Sara and I have been reading books to Besh at bedtime since he was about 6 months old.  Maybe earlier.  Although some books have come and gone, one that has lasted for a long time and even mounted a few comebacks when it disappeared for a while is I Love You All The Time.  If you haven’t read it (I know, you’re waiting for the movie), each page talks about different things parents do with or without kids but always ends with “I love you all the time.”

Recently, this line has evolved into a kind of game with Besh where we’ll replace time with something else.  So it’s not uncommon to have exchanges like…

“I love you all the Mary Poppins.”

“I love you all the teeth.”

“I love you all the Gamaw car.”

“I love you all the soccer ball.”

Usually it goes back and forth for a bit.  Sometimes one of us will repeat the other, which then triggers a sideround of the “Hey, I said that!” game which oftentimes lasts longer than one would anticipate.

The “I love you all the [blank]” game appeared infinite and unwinnable until last night at the dinner table we had this exchange.  (This is about 10 rounds into the game, but I’ve edited for your enjoyment.)

Besh: “I love you all the string beans.”

Me: “I love you all the ice cream.”

Besh’s eyes went wide.  “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Wow.”

Yes, ice cream is the ultimate toddler trump card.

Besh has been told that he can’t have any sugar during afternoons when he hasn’t had a nap or some decent rest, since the lack-of-rest loopiness combines with the sugar to be Not Okay.  So on days when he gets a decent rest or, dare we say, an actual nap, he looks forward to a treat or a trip to Chuck E Cheese.

One day last week, he had a nap at school and he had previously had some hot chocolate (heavily diluted) with his grandparents over the weekend.  Which resulted in this conversation at home.

Besh: “I took a nap!”

Sara: “I know!  What do you want to have?”

“I want hot chocolate!”

Sara quickly discovers the hot chocolate has gone home with the grandparents (it was an anniversary present for them, so understandable).

“Besh, the hot chocolate is gone.”  She rummages in the pantry.  ”Ah, but here are some chocolate-covered pretzels.”

Besh thinks about it a moment.

“Do they have sugar?”

“Yes.”

“Okay!!!”

Besh spends a lot of time at school with a woman who has some tattoos on her arm.  The other day he finally saw it or decided to say something about it.

Besh: “What’s that?”

Her: “That’s a tattoo.”

“Oh.  You should wash that.”

“I can’t wash it.  It’s permanent.”

Besh made a face, then: “That was not a very good idea.”